Fair and Balanced...
I would like to welcome back our friends at Proxmity. It has been a while. Now, on to the story. Yesterday I had to take my car into the shop to repair an ignition coil. I was in the waiting room and had nothing better to do than watch the television which was conveniently set on Fox News. Normally I would never watch Fox News but I decided it was better than looking at the floor. I found it rather humorous that apparently Fox News has the new slogan: "Fair and Balanced". Wow. If there are two things that Fox News is not it is definitely fair and balanced. Now granted Rupert Murdoch is no Elliot Carver he is not the nicest guy either. Liberals and the Left should love Fox News. When everyone says that the media is liberal all you have to do is watch Fox report on the war in Iraq and boom (no pun intended) you can prove it is not liberal. In fact I even got the idea to post the constant Terror Alert Level from them. I hope everyone in Nebraska knows we are on "Yellow". However, I think they would only care if aliens making crop circles were on a watch list. All of this really culminated when I saw this cartoon on my Great Thompson Hunt. There was a time were being a journalist was noble, even respectable. Now you are in league with Mr. Rivera and his ilk. I just love how he smiles when talking about dead people. The sad thing is, he is immortal. No enemy of the USA would ever kill Geraldo, they would be doing America a favor. I still can't see how people can take this guy seriously. I mean at least Wolf Blitzer looks respectable even though he may not be much better. With all the propaganda on cable news I am glad we have the net where we can come and get our propaganda is nice written bloggy format. No one ever said we had a right to be propaganda free, but at least we can choose which stuff we want to consume. I guess that's a little better than Communism. B
A day that shall live in infamy...
It is a dark, dark day. JP Morgan Chase and Bank One are merging. GW is peddling his new Moon and Mars plans. Mad cow disease is upon us. Any of these three things by themselves could signal the end of the world, but it gets worse. According to khfan.com the love of my life, Katie Holmes, is engaged. After all that pining she goes and shacks up with the guy who plays Oz in American Pie. Of course she is not married yet. There still is precious little time for me to convince her that I am Mr. Right. Part of me is truly upset and part of me wants to just move on to Michele Branch. I could learn to love Hotel Paper. Okay maybe not. I have done it all wrong. Instead of taking computer classes I should have taken Jazz choir. I can sing James Taylor damnit! B
A Free Man In Paris
As promised, albeit a little late, here is my review of David Sedaris' Me Talk Pretty One Day. For some reason unbeknownst to me, I keep reading books by gay men (I still maintain that Salinger is gay too). Apparently gay people have the special ability to make self deprecation really humorous. There were a number of times when reading this that I laughed out load. Seriously funny. The book is divided in to two sections aptly named "One" and "Deux". "One" is various stories from him life here in the states. "Deux" is about his life as an "ex-pat" living in France. One particularly funny part was when he was talking about his French class in France trying to explain Easter to a Muslim who had never heard of it. It involved funny translations like "Jesus tied to two morsels of lumber". His stories about Amy are hysterical. Apparently one day when getting off the El in Chicago she yelled back at him "Good luck beating that rape charge!" for no good reason. I really enjoyed this book and strongly recommend it. Now I am on to read the definitely less funny No Logo by Naomi Klein. Being not humor and thicker, this might take some time. Check back later for the news of the day update. B
Is there a doctor in the house?
Learning, I have decided, is an interesting and slow process. I think that this blog demonstrates that axiom rather well. My skills at HTML were completely nonexistent when I started but are getting better. As you can probably tell I have learned about post titles, how to float pictures, and even some nifty font tricks. Although not my primary reason for starting the blog, I guess becoming proficient at writing code isn't a bad thing. My main reason for wanting to flood the Internet with the never ending monologue that is in my head is to improve my writing. I you can tell by the last sentence, I have a ways to go. I haven't quite grasped the whole comma thing yet, but I am trying. I guess this goes back to the being a college drop out and opening one grammar book in my life. If you want to know how to conjugate verbs in Latin, French, or German I am your man. If you want to know were commas go I am no help. I still throw them around for the hell for it and hope people get the point but I really haven't a clue.
I have wanted to write a long time and just never got around to it. This is much the same with my desire to become a ninja. Hey if Chris Farley can do it, why not me? I want to be a bold and witty writer. Reading books by Michael Moore, David Sedaris, and Nick Hornby have fanned this flame. They are way better than me, but it is a nice goal. There is one other author that I think of when I think of being bold and witty. HST. Hunter Thompson has got to be one of the craziest and funniest people who was ever lived. What's better is he documents all of this craziness. The other day I was sitting over at Brie's apartment and was discussing how I needed to spread the word of the blog with her roommate Kate. Kate was surely joking when she said: "You should email Thompson". Some of you may know that HST writes for EPSN's website on their "Page 2" section. Kate was sure their would be a feedback email address for him. After thinking about it I said what the hell. I went to ESPN's site in search of HST's email address. Unfortunately I had not luck. I am now on a quest to find this address and see if I can convince the good doctor to read and comment on my site. This is my goal for 2003. However, if he does start to visit I should probably learn to write better. What do you think? Feel free to post on our nifty new commenting system. Their will be gold stars given to anyone who can either tell me how many commas are in the post versus how many are used correctly, or get me HST's email address. Happy hunting. Stay tuned later for a full review of Me Talk Pretty One Day. B
Sex in the City...
In honor of the final season of Sex in the City and the events of last night I have decided to write my post Carrie Bradshaw style. The names except for Matt have been changed to protect the innocent and those not so as well.
Indianapolis is a fairly boring city. Things tend to pretty much stay the same. Sure there is always drama, but after a while it is all the same drama. This was not the case last night. When people think Monday the words danger and excitement do not so much come to mind. I'll start from the beginning. So my buddy Bill got a new a job so we decided to go out and have a guys-night-out to celebrate. Matt goes to Bill's apartment to meet him after he gets off work. Matt shows up and finds Bill and his friend Cindy. We are ready to go out and Matt asks Cindy if she would like to come too. She says sure. Bill has to make a quick stop before we go out so Cindy takes him while Matt picks me up at work. Matt also has Bill's cell phone so he can stay in touch being as Matt does not have one of his own. We are on our way to the bar to meet Bill and Cindy when Bill's fiance Veronica calls his cell phone. Matt sees this and answers it. Veronica asks if Bill is there and Matt says no he is with Cindy and they are going to meet us. Veronica is not please by such things and asks if Cindy was at the apartment and Matt being the honest man he is tells Veronica that she was. Now she is steamed. Matt hangs up and we carry on to the next block. Still not at the bar and Veronica calls me and asks if we are with Bill yet. I respond negative and she asks me to have him call her ASAP. We get to the bar the same time they do and proceed to have drinks and merriment. Veronica keeps calling Bill again and again. Around nine we make our way out of the bar and find Veronica has been waiting in her car with a friend. She gets out and confronts Bill, thanking him for lying to her. A long talk ensues while Matt and I just want to go to La Bambas for a burrito. Bill asks Matt and I to drop off Veronica and him at home. Matt agrees. The ride home is a very quiet one. We think that Bill had quite a talking to when he got home. By the way, Bill and Veronica are engaged. This brings me to my point. Why did Veronica feel the need to stake out the bar and have a confrontation with Bill? Why did she not just come inside and drag him out. Also, if this is how she is going to act why does Bill want to marry her? Bill can obviously not be himself so what is the point? Matt and I theorize that Veronica has some serious control issues. It is clear that she thinks Bill and Cindy are more than friends, why does she stay? All of these are good questions and I would like everyone's input. Let me know what you think. We now have a nifty new commenting system, feel free to use it. I would like to start a dialogue about marriage, fidelity, and control in relationships.
On a lighter and happier note, Matt is the proud recipient of the playa of the week award. Overnight he has gone from bachelor extraordinaire to the number one playa in his postal code. Way to go Matt. We here in the Congo salute you. As the old expression goes, when it rains it pours. It is about time to capitalize on that whole nice guy thing. Out of the three you should find one that can pass your tests. Best of luck. These are my two cents, where are yours? B
I would like to start off this week with hardy "GO COLTS!" I hope that everyone shared the pleasure that was watching The Colts carry out a victory over The Chiefs. AFC championship here we come! Aside from watching The Colts I had a fairly eventful weekend. On Friday I was eight dollars and seventy five cents of the fourteen and a half million that Big Fish raked in (enough to take the number one spot for RoTK). I very much enjoyed it. It is very much a guy movie. Not in the vain of blow everybody up with naked lesbians kinda guy movie, but in the father/son bonding kinda guy movie. I encourage all guys out there to grab their dad and check it out post haste. With a cast like Ewen McGregor, Albert Finney, and Billy Cudrup how can you go wrong. Add in Tim Burton and things get interesting. Although I still recommend going to see The Cooler first, check out this one as soon as possible. Later. B