bschaller at ltoa dot com
Wednesday, December 10, 2003

Fun with Jesus and Lawn Ornaments

My favorite thing about Christmas time has got to be lawn and house decoration. This is not because I like to look at all the pretty lights. I gave up hallucinogens along time ago. It is because it reminds me of one my favorite stories and one of the best schemes I have ever had the good fortune of being apart of. A couple years back me and some nameless coworkers (you know who you are) we discussing a funny news story we had heard about a bunch of garden gnomes being abducted in Paris France by a radical group calling themselves the Garden Gnome Liberation Front. We thought this was hysterical. Now liberation of garden, lawn, and porch decoration is nothing new. I can think of at least one ceramic penguin that was kidnapped and taken all over the world. Be the thing that really got our minds into a whirl was the fact that it was Christmas time when we heard of this. We decided that it was a travesty how baby Jesus was being held captive in lawns all across America during the Yuletide and we decided it was up to us to help him out. Thus the Baby Jesus Liberation Front was founded. Our goal was to go house to house and "borrow" all the baby Jesi we could find. We would toe tag each one with the address or origin just in case the cops thought we were stealing. On Christmas Eve at midnight we were going to go downtown to Monument Circle and deposit all of the Jesi on the steps with little protest signs they could carry. We never did get around to actually doing this but it is still one of the best ideas I think I have ever been apart of. For more fun with Jesus check out this. B


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