Tuesday, December 23, 2003
Orange you glad I didn't say Banana!
One may ask themselves: "What does a music snob listen to to get into the holiday spirit?" I assure it is not Jim Brickman or anything on the Windam Hill collection or for that matter the RuPaul Christmas album. I must admit I have heard all of these way too damn much. But I guess that is what you get when you work in a mall music store during Christmas and your manager happens to be the most flamboyantly gay man since Liberace. No, for a music snob like me there is only ONE Christmas album: The Vince Guaraldi Trio's A Charlie Brown Christmas. I have always hated Christmas music, mainly because I found it trite, tacky, and for the most part just bad. However the artful jazz of this album is really good. For the first time an off-key children's choir sounds oddly charming and soothing. It almost sounds how sitting by a fireplace drinking hot coco staring at stockings hanging over slow burning coals feels. That is no small accomplishment. However with Christmas there always is a Grinch. My Grinch of 2003 award is a tie between GW and his buddy Tom Ridge. Nothing gets people in the holiday spirit like raising the "Terror Alert" level to Orange. I still don't fully understand the "Terror Alert" levels being as the number of terror attacks under Orange that we have had are the same as every other level: Zero. For probably the first time in your life you can get on plane for your holiday trip and simultaneously dream of grandma's homemade gingerbread and worry about becoming a Kamikaze Death Missile. I say this is nonsense. My fellow Americans I urge you to go on with your lives and aside from more pestering at the airport, don't give the Orange nonsense another thought. I recommend everybody go out and get themselves a Christmas cookie and throw on the smooth sounds of Vince Guaraldi and enjoy your holiday. B
One may ask themselves: "What does a music snob listen to to get into the holiday spirit?" I assure it is not Jim Brickman or anything on the Windam Hill collection or for that matter the RuPaul Christmas album. I must admit I have heard all of these way too damn much. But I guess that is what you get when you work in a mall music store during Christmas and your manager happens to be the most flamboyantly gay man since Liberace. No, for a music snob like me there is only ONE Christmas album: The Vince Guaraldi Trio's A Charlie Brown Christmas. I have always hated Christmas music, mainly because I found it trite, tacky, and for the most part just bad. However the artful jazz of this album is really good. For the first time an off-key children's choir sounds oddly charming and soothing. It almost sounds how sitting by a fireplace drinking hot coco staring at stockings hanging over slow burning coals feels. That is no small accomplishment. However with Christmas there always is a Grinch. My Grinch of 2003 award is a tie between GW and his buddy Tom Ridge. Nothing gets people in the holiday spirit like raising the "Terror Alert" level to Orange. I still don't fully understand the "Terror Alert" levels being as the number of terror attacks under Orange that we have had are the same as every other level: Zero. For probably the first time in your life you can get on plane for your holiday trip and simultaneously dream of grandma's homemade gingerbread and worry about becoming a Kamikaze Death Missile. I say this is nonsense. My fellow Americans I urge you to go on with your lives and aside from more pestering at the airport, don't give the Orange nonsense another thought. I recommend everybody go out and get themselves a Christmas cookie and throw on the smooth sounds of Vince Guaraldi and enjoy your holiday. B
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