News Flash: Dick Cheney Is Alive!

People of America be not afraid! I know that you all thought, much like me, that the Vice President had died some months ago. This is the only possible reason why no one has seen him. However, last night during the State of the Union address a very much alive Dick Cheney sat behind our beloved and fearless leader. Okay , now on the serious part of the post. Last night I had the pleasure of watching President Bush's State of the Union Address. For those of you who had better things to do let me explain. There are two things that really define the State of the Union Address. The first is the President making a speech. The second and far more obvious is way too damn much clapping. One thing I have noticed over the years is the applause during the speech is very interesting to watch. It has it's own dynamics and subtleties. First you have the congressmen and senators of the incumbent president. They clap like hapless idiots after every second sentence. This is quite annoying. Then you have the opposing side. They almost never clap. They did clap last night after Bush said two things: "Key provisions of the Patriot Act are set to expire next year." and "The tax reductions you passed are set to expire". I found this most humorous. Next you have the Supreme Court Justices. They never even blink much less clap. And last you have invited guests like Tom Brady. He just sat and wondered what the fuck he was doing there. The speech made no mention of space exploration and carried the same Bush rhetoric as always. There was a bunch of "we did good in Iraq", "the economy is really ok", and "seniors won't die now because of prescriptions". There was also a bunch of "everyone is equal in God's eyes, but straight people are more equal", "motherfuckers best recognize or we will blow their shit up", and "there have been no attacks since September 11th so I will say September 11th as much as possible". Ok so that is a bit of paraphrasing, but you get the point. If you really want to read or see the speech visit the link above. Kerry's response afterwards with Tom Brokaw was nice and low key, he did make a point to say Bush was wrong a lot. I like that. As if an article about the State of the Union could not get funnier, take a look at what I found on the web while looking for pictures and transcripts. On the whitehouse.gov page their is link to Laura Bush's recipes. How funny is that. The "Cowboy Cookies" are my favorite. Proof once again that Bush likes his women in the kitchen. What were your impressions of the speech? B